Another day in paradise..

Roopa Aragolam's blogosphere..

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Gender Issues

Disappointment was written all over her face. "I have lost all interest in travelling now " Susheela, the next-door neighbour declared to my mother.

Just months earlier, she had excitedly announced that her daughter was pregnant and that she
would be traveling to US to look after her daughter in the advanced pregnancy and post-delivery stages. This would be her first grandchild and her first trip abroad and she was due to travel in a few days. I thought, can there be anything more exciting than this?

My mother was worried and asked her "Is everything alright? how is your daughter and the baby doing?"

She replied "They both are fine, but the ultrasound scan results show that it is going to be a girl. I do not want a girl baby, I want a boy"

Her attitude baffled me and made me feel sore. She made it seem like girls were unwelcome/unwanted and inferior in some strange way and I promptly felt bad for the unborn for getting such a grandmom.

The sad part here is that she is not a one-off case. This attitude is seen not just with 'unpad'
villagers but even in educated families in urban areas.

In most cases, the biggest challenge for women to be considered equal to men, is not from the outside world, but from within their own homes. And the biggest hurdle for women in achieving equality is, ironically women themselves.


    • At 9:03 PM, Blogger Kishor Narayan said…

      I do wonder what can be the reason for people to have such bias? Is religious salvation the only cause for this 'error in judgement'? If so, why aren't religious institutions coming forward to remove this 'roadblock' from the minds of the common man? I am reminded of the ad put forward by 'Ministry of Women and Child Welfare, Govt. of India'.
      It has just 2 sentences. One in a large font in the centre of the sheet. 'Kalpana Chawla's brother owns a small shop in Hissar, Haryana.' Down below in a small font, it's written 'Don't abort the girl child!'.
      One can just hope that the breed of Susheelas (with due regards to her) get eradicated at the earliest.

    • At 3:33 AM, Anonymous utkarsh said…

      your template gets all messed up on firefox :) .. it looks nice but i had to do a lot of research to find the "post a comment" link here :)
      nice post ..
      Like the way you have ended it .. its very true .. Women in India face problems not only because of chauvinist men, but because of older generation men and women who still think that women are to be a show piece inside the four walls of the house. Not much has changed in their mindset even with the flood of ads about the equality of men and women and about the importance of a girl child.

    • At 2:41 PM, Blogger Srikrishnan said…

      strange but true.. these things have little to do with religion and stuff though... but then there shall be the day wen such an attitude is wiped out..

    • At 5:08 AM, Blogger Roopa said…

      Though I know about the template problem from day 1, I have been procastinating fixing it.

      Thanks to Shankar, Kishor and Utkarsh for pointing it out..
      Please let me know if there are any more issues.

    • At 5:20 AM, Blogger Roopa said…

      I dont think this has anything got to do with religion considering that goddesses are treated on par to gods ;-).

      @Kishor, Utkarsh, Srikrishnan

      Sure do hope things change, and soon :-)

    • At 10:46 AM, Blogger Shankar said…

      A glimpse of a typical orthodox Indian family will immediately suggest that a girl child is considered a "burden" on the family. The family goes into a "piggy bank" mode trying to save up money for the "big" day when the girl has to be married with heaps of dowry to the groom. A girl child is still considered an "outsider" to the family because she'll eventually move out and live with her in-laws. Feminists may cry foul at these comments, but it speaks about ground realities of families like Susheela's.Ofcourse, things are changing in India, but we still have a long way to go before we have a society without gender bias.

    • At 3:53 AM, Blogger Angshuman Sarkar said…

      you ought to have asked her, "so you were unhappy when your daughter was born, huh?"!
      Good work done on blog template.

    • At 12:30 AM, Blogger sumanth said…

      It was very hard for me to find the link to post a comment on this. :)

      In India even today girl babies are cursed. As shankar says there is a long way to go before society has this no gender bias.

    • At 5:32 AM, Blogger Roopa said…


      Excellent comment..
      the bad part it is true :-(


      A better question would be, how would you feel if your mother felt the same way when you were born?


      Hmm..Looks like I am testing the IQ of readers ;-)

    • At 12:50 PM, Blogger मयंक जैन (makuchaku) said…

      ...nothing about the post - but something you posted about on my old blog ( - maybe down - I stopped using it after it used to be erratically down for days.

      I have my own blog hosting now - infact from quite some time now!

      Have a look at if looked pretty hochpoched to you.

      Keep up the posts.


    • At 6:00 PM, Blogger prash said…

      well....such a mindset is the result of centuries of practice and nurturing.... it wont go in a flash ....probably a reformist dictator might help ....educated ppl having such a mindset is unpardonable though.... well....its unpardonable any which way....

      btw....i actually had forgotten my passwd again ....hehe ....but this time I actually wrote a post after a long long time

    • At 2:42 AM, Blogger Abhinav said…

      Thats the sad reality in our society and more so is people who are educated still behave like this. Probably these ppl need a whip on ass .. but then how many ppl think that ways .. we are all educated and still indulge in these social evils like dowery etc

    • At 10:48 AM, Blogger Roopa said…


      Will look at it :-)

      Again?? ;-)
      Mail me ur pwd, I'll remember it for you.

    • At 12:42 PM, Blogger Deepak said…

      Are you kidding me? First of all I was pretty shocked to read this and did not blv it at first..

      To be frank enough I am still not able to blv it -- and these are well educated families , staying in "silicon" valley of india , who have travelled abroad and seen the world... 21st Century... etc etc..
      Shock to me.. and again that too from a "lady's" mouth... no offense but I want to know wht her parents think about her (susheela)..
      Are we short of things to fight about? Religion is always there , then there is money and color etc etc and now gender (well not now , its a old one but still....)
      What is the difference ?
      You may want to show ur neighbour (if your mom is still talking to her..!!) --

      Means, SDs, and d-ratios for the six age groups are provided in Table 1. These data show that girls and boys were similar on the CAS Simultaneous and Successive Scales (d-ratios ranged from -.1 to .1). In contrast, differences between girls and boys were apparent. Girls outperformed boys on the Planning Scale (median d-ratio was .33, range = .24 - .43) and the Attention Scale (median d-ratio was .34, range = .23 - .49). These d-ratios are considered small to medium (Cohen, 1988).

      The d-ratios for all groups are summarized by age in Figure 1. These developmental data show that the differences between girls and boys increases over the 5 through 9 year range in Attention and over the 5 through 7 ages in Planning. Overall, the girls outperform the boys by about one third of a standard deviation or about 5 standard score points. Interestingly, girls are slightly worse than boys from ages 8 through 17 in Simultaneous processing and slightly better than boys in Successive processing across all the age groups.... "


    • At 5:59 AM, Blogger Akshatha Kamath said…


      Agree with you!!! But more than the monetary aspect, its the matter of "Budaape ka Sahara". Girl child gets married and takes care of her in-laws, but if its a baby boy he stays with them (???) till their end and takes care (???) of them.

      But times have surely changed except for a few Susheelas. From past 3 years whenever I met a family having a pregnant lady, the wish was more for a female baby :o) Silver lining is more obvious now, cheers!!!

      Good work on such a sensitive subject :o)

    • At 8:18 AM, Blogger Roopa said…


      It was heartening to see that :-)


      Thanks :-)

    • At 11:39 AM, Blogger karthik rao said…

      well...whos susheela ?.
      n well..i always wanted a yunger sis..
      well..m glad u stil make up for all respects..height size..IQ..everything.. :)

    • At 8:03 PM, Anonymous Louanna said…

      This is great info to know.

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

How to stay on top of the yahoo search

From being appetizing to becoming sleazy and disgusting, Britney has always been ruling the media.Though its been ages since she has delivered any hits(if you ask me, even the hits did not become 'hits' because the songs were exceptionally good), she has managed to stay on top of the search 5 times in the past 6 years

Heres how :

-provocative songs and dressing (lack of)
-public liplock with Madonna
-a marriage lasting 55 hours
-subsequent marriage to a back-up dancer
-2 pregnancies in a row
-nearly dropping her baby on the pavement, and driving with the baby in lap
-Appearing in public underdressed (not 'under' dressed rathar)
-shaving her head

Just When I thought she had exhausted all possible atrocious ways to create news, now comes the suicide attempt and anti-christ claims. I don't dare guess what she can can come up with next.

Fame, I think, is the most powerful and dangerous intoxication.It drives you to a state where you even infamy is alluring. And you lose all control over yourself..

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    • At 10:48 AM, Anonymous Chethan said…


    • At 10:02 AM, Blogger Shankar said…

      As much as our celebrity struck public would love to see the rise of a star, they would be equally keen to follow the news of a celebrity's life going haywire. That's the price you have to pay for being "famous".

    • At 9:46 AM, Blogger Kishor Narayan said…

      Sad as it may sound, the passing buck stops at the reader - or the browser in this case - who is so hell bent on extracting the minute details of his beloved celebrity. The minds of the common citizens are so stooped in such acts that they are convinced that right up there where celebrities have a glittering world of their own - it's a hunky dory world.
      And when people like Anna Nicole Smith, Rakhi Sawant move from Page 3 glitterati parties to Page 1 headlines for all the wrong reasons, the public almost instantaneously disowns them.
      It's a cat and mouse game and right now it's Britney whose calling the shots!

    • At 5:04 AM, Blogger Roopa said…

      In the begining phase, they need as much publicity as possible and they welcome media coverage, and after they get wellknown, they do not want the media to pry on their privacy.
      They asked for it and they get it.

    • At 12:08 PM, Blogger Karthik Rao said…

      well...even I would like to be on top of search lists..but the thing is...
      If at all i ape her...i would be on roads...and..
      her idea is to become..infamously famous..
      But..whats the point..people end up disliking her even more..

    • At 2:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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